Shasta baby <3

It is around this time of year that we celebrate Lughnasadh (LOO-nah-sah), which is the halfway point between the summer solstice and autumn equinox. (I am, in my true fashion, a bit late.. and as usual, with good reason!) At this point, we are reaping the harvest of the high heat and the summer months. There is still more to come, but the days are gradually starting to get shorter, and summer vacations (our modern versions of summer celebrations), are coming to a close. We are continuing to celebrate abundance and blessings, while also just beginning to prepare for the autumn, and the inevitability of the life ~ death / creation ~ decay cycle. 

Space is limited for our upcoming ketamine-assisted therapy group! The group will consist of four members, and the following sessions: one individual medical intake per person, one group preparation session, three group intramuscular ketamine medicine sessions, and three group integration sessions. This treatment arc is $1800 per person (20% off the low end of our sliding scale). 

Here are the dates:

9/6 - Group prep, 6 - 8pm

9/11 - Group medicine session, 6 - 9pm

9/12 - Group integration, 12:30 - 1:30pm

9/18 - Group medicine session, 6 - 9pm

9/19 - Group integration, 12:30 - 1:30pm

9/25 - Group medicine session, 6 - 9pm

9/26 - Group integration, 12:30 - 1:30pm

Please contact me to reserve your spot; this will be a first come first served group. Individual medical intake sessions will be scheduled with Dr. Prentice Steffen, and will be completed virtually. 

We will likely be doing groups on an ongoing basis, either monthly or quarterly, depending on interest and availability. Let me know if you have any questions about this!

The pictures contained in this newsletter were taken in beautiful Mount Shasta, where I recently spent an extended weekend. It was a much-needed retreat to nature, hiking, creativity, fun, laughter, and rest. On the final day of the trip shortly before the trek home, a friend and I visited Panther Meadows, just above the tree line on Mount Shasta. It is said that this is a place of immense spiritual power and energy vortices. Beautiful stone labyrinths and mandalas made of the native wildflowers have been created there. 

All weekend, I had been wearing a necklace I got after a breakup in 2017; a gold circle with two arrows in an "X" and a rhinestone in the middle, hanging on a red cord. This symbol representing transformation, which I've put on when I've felt I needed extra strength and support. Wandering through the labyrinths and gazing at the mandalas, I began to wonder... What if I don't need to be transforming, all the time? What if I can give myself a break from constantly stretching, walking at the edges of my comfort, pursuing opportunities for growth, and expanding? A prompt from a breathwork workshop several years ago sprang to mind, "What if you are exactly enough as you are, right in this moment?" As I'm writing this, I can feel that it may sound in contrast to the message of my last newsletter, in which I asked, "Am I doing enough?" 

In grappling with these concepts, what has come into focus is the distinction between "Am I doing enough," and "Am I enough?". Maybe it was the immense spiritual power or the energy vortex, but the message was clear: My mission is not to transform into something or somebody else, but to become even more of exactly who I am. My people will/have found me there, and those not meant for me have fallen away.

So atop mystical Mount Shasta, in the center of a labyrinth, I left the necklace on a bet of violet wildflowers in the middle of a mandala, as an offering to the mountain and a liberation of my-self. 

On a related but separate note, I am pleased to announce that I am feeling much more like myself since last we spoke, in regard to the challenging psychedelic experience I had earlier this year. I have reconnected with my at-home ketamine practice, and in fact had the most profound ketamine experience to date, just a few weeks ago. During the journey, the channel opened and this download came through: My former partner(s), who had not honored me, our agreements, or our relationship, had come to embody my own unworthiness. It was as if all the times I felt disregarded, disposable, replaceable/replaced, and discarded came to be personified in human form. During this transmission, these feelings were removed from my body and became a separate entity, creating a huge relief and lightness. I cannot say that the feelings of anger and resentment are completely gone, but it does feel as though I put down a giant boulder I had been lugging around.

In the days following, I drew the card of Hathor from my goddess oracle deck. She is an Egyptian goddess of life-giving and nurturing. However, the message of this card was not about giving, but about receiving. Hathor says, "receptivity allows you to better hear the voices of angels." I thought of Hathor as I was exploring Panther Meadows. Part of becoming even more exactly who I am, is learning to be more comfortable as a receiver, and not always as The Provider. I don't always have to be the one to stretch, to accommodate, to be flexible and to be transforming. I can be exactly who I am, where I am, and I can be met there.

💕

This last picture is of me, (hiking in my socks because my new hiking boots gave me blisters), high above Castle Lake. It has felt so good to be back in my body, reconnected with the safety of my nervous system, creating the conditions to listen to and trust myself.